“No, no, I didn’t go to England; I went to London.” -Paris Hilton

"eating now, nom nom" -unknown

"just got busted smokin' pot by baby bother" -unknown

"juhst walked in on mom lookn @ porn" -unknown

"took a s^%% da crip stinks" -unknown

"i is way cooler n smartr din you is be" -unknown

"just busted a pimple" -unknown

"my best friend doesn't want to hangout with me, dumbass girlfriend of his sucks" -unknown